A New Year – A Clean Start
- Samantha von Sperling
- Jan 14, 2012
- 3 min read

Many relationships do not survive the stress of the holidays, especially with the added pressure of a tough economy. Many of us start the New Year broken-hearted. Don’t be sad. This is a chance to concentrate on you, and to get a fresh start. Who knows? The next person in your life could be even better. And if not, ditch him immediately and chalk it up as a ‘rebound guy’ thing. Better to be alone with your terrific self with extra time to take care of Number One than with someone who does not make you smile.
I know – it hurts so bad you feel like a Mayan sacrifice – it’s like having your heart ripped from your chest while you’re still alive. You don’t see how you’re ever going to get over him or be happy again. I won’t sugar coat it. It might take a while, but I can tell you that you are stronger than you think. The pain lessens with time. The best we can do is try to learn from our relationships. The good and the bad. Time is what we don’t have lots of. Life is short. The sooner we can let it go, the better off we’ll be.

Working on ourselves is the fastest road to recovery: New Year’s resolutions, fresh perspectives, learning to relax, going to the gym, networking events, a book club, concentrating on our careers, letting go of useless relationships, and spending time with people that bring us joy. We need to get our homes, our minds and ourselves neat, clean and in order. Calm and happiness might take a while, but there’s a lot we can do to feel better right away. I’m a big advocate of “me time” and turning your bathroom into your own private spa. Especially after a breakup. Bring in music, candles and herbal tea. (Okay, maybe a bottle of wine.)
Yes, sometimes it’s as easy as starting in the sanctuary of your own bathroom.
It’s now time to literally wash that man right out of your hair. Give yourself a good scrub while you clear your head. Taking care of yourself is the first step on your road to recovery. I love potions and lotions for bath time. I am particularly fond of Vitabath’s Spa Skin Therapy Exfoliating Sugar Scrub. It gives you silky smooth skin. Use with a puff (or my choice a pink nylon wash cloth I bought in a Korean imports market). The combination gives me skin like the day I was born.
Sense memory can be very powerful. Vitabath’s Original Spring Green is a classic. It reminds me of bubble baths when I was a kid, and pre-date showers when I was a teenager. I still love its clean, fresh scent. It reminds me of getting ready for Saturday night dates with the radio on – of a vibrant outlook on life in a world that is filled with new possibilities. Just the right scent for washing away the memory of a man while making myself smell deliciously fresh with soft skin.
Sometimes a long scrub in the shower is the best way to collect one’s thoughts, or to just have a good cry. Wash everything away at the same time. It’s great multi-tasking.
I had a horrible break up in 2010 that ended in a terrible divorce in 2011. There were mornings and nights when my frozen Green Gel Eye Mask was my BFF. It gave my burning eyes a bit of relief, took down the swelling, and made it possible to see clients – to literally and figuratively face other people. In my line of work, I can’t be seen looking like a wreck.
I am relieved that 2010 and 2011 are behind me. I’m excited about creating new possibilities in 2012 and moving forward into a life that has a real chance for newfound happiness. This is why I am sharing with you some of the wisdom I’ve gained through experience. I wanted to give moral support to the sisterhood of broken hearts in a way that I wish had been shared with me.
Wishing you all that your heart desires in 2012!
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