The Lost Art of the Prelude
You’re at a party; you have caught the attention of two men. One very handsome and cocksure, the other attractive but with an irresistible sparkle in his eyes. For a moment, he makes you feel like you’re the only woman in the room. With ten women for every one man in this city, it might be tempting to body check the woman next to you, and pack him up “to go” before anyone else does. Ladies, please have a little bit of self-control! Where did the lost art of the prelude go? Even if it’s just for a few hours. The moment is more satisfying if he makes a bit of an effort to concur you.
Part of the problem is that men are forgetting how to chase us because we never give them the opportunity. Or worse, things have gotten so bad that men now expect us to make the moves confirming our interest. With so many available women, do men now make us compete for their attention?
I dare not suggest sonnets, serenades below our window or even flowers, (Ok, maybe flowers) but a little display makes us feel good. Demonstrate that we are worth the chase.
Sweeping gestures? A rare moment when a man does something akin to an epic romantic film and totally surprises us with an act so grand and romantic we can hardly believe the moment is real. Then, feeling like the luckiest woman in the world, we surrender. How could we not?
Gentlemen, when was the last time you really swept a gal off her feet? Ladies, when was the last time a man made you feel as though you were irresistible? Not just while he’s tearing off your clothes, (although there’s something to that too) but actually dazzled you with his courtship efforts. It’s increasingly rare to see a man puff out his chest, flash his feathers, do a little dance, a mating call, or even rarer, compete for us.
Dance cards are extinct and when we are out and about, we have earphones on, living in our virtual pod. How do we meet? We live online. We date online as much as we do in the wild.
Words are the key to our future. Our brain, our greatest erogenous zone, responds to language like our body responds to skillful touch. The ability to flirt with words, messages, texts and sexts are modern forms of seduction. How would Cyrano de Bergerac fare? I suspect quite well. Cyber flirting can be wildly exciting. Words and pictures, no matter the medium, still hold sway. The art of revealing oneself through language is still relevant.
Online dating can be a fun way to pass a snowy evening from the warmth of one’s own apartment. There are three general categories that sites cater to. Sexual gratification, compatibility, and values. In kinky sites, there’s almost no place for love. On the values/let’s get married sites, there’s really no place to find out if there’s sexual compatibility until it’s too late. Compatibility is all fun and dandy, but loving sushi and long walks on the beach does not a partner make. Tinder, just like a supermarket, is like swiping through your selection at the checkout without actually reading the labels!
Recently, I interviewed a man who developed the dating site of the future.
He has brought back the game of courtship by turning it into a multi player, cyber quest-like game.
Karma: The Game of Destiny created by Rene Reyes for his company Alchemy Innovations is the first dating site to truly combine all three elements of compatibility. It’s not photo based, which allows for a bit of mystery like a masquerade ball. Everyone has an avatar. It forces people to actually get to know each other, as photos are only revealed upon request. Access only granted when the other person feels comfortable. Like a video game, instead of purchasing blocks of time, you purchase lives. If you’re creepy and somebody zaps you, you lose a life and the reprimand is public, forcing people to “play nice.” Rene Reyes, a super cool techie, created the site to help “fix the neuroses of the happy ending, the prince and princess myth. The game of monopoly by which we live.” Says Reyes. A self-described “Maniacal megalomaniac,” says “My wizard thesis is this game. Play the game, find your soul mate.” The site’s beta launches this month.
No matter, how we choose to meet, date and mate, let’s have a little extra fun. Let’s bring back the excitement, flirtation and anticipation.
It’s February, love or lust is in the air and on line!
