Your Kids are Not that Cute

I recently attended a dinner that I had really been looking forward to. Lately my schedule has been all work and no play. An evening of relaxed, adult conversation was a long awaited event. Unfortunately, after one hour, I could not wait for the evening to be over. Three hours of relentless screaming and a splitting headache later, I was silently begging for mercy, trying to drown out the decibels with wine. At one point, during the first hour of dinner, after trying to make out what the woman sitting diagonally across from me was saying, I had to apologize to her and explain that I had not been able to hear the last fifteen seconds of what she had said. To my amazement, the parents of the screaming children did and said nothing. At one point during dinner, a rug rat from under the table attacked my leg and screamed, “A bug!” Pounding a plastic pest against my leg he yelled at me again. I looked down in his direction and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t respond to yelling.” Again, no response from a parent or any of the adults related to the trouble maker. An hour later, I ran into the little gang’s ringleader in a hallway. I asked her if she would please do me a favor and kindly use her indoor voice. I was disregarded and ignored. The pandemonium continued.

A week before, I was applying some make-up to one of my clients. Her daughter, about seven, who was with her, pushed into my legs with both hands while making a grunting noise then whined, “Me too!” Her mother kind of smiled at her and half-heartedly said, “Don’t be rude.” I was stunned, I never would have dared to push anyone, (with the occasional exception of my little brother) certainly not an adult.

Divorce, media, households in which parents work full time with no one qualified to watch them at home have changed the environment in which children are governed. Parents want to be their child’s friend instead of their parents. Civility is rarely taught or enforced in school. So we are raising the next generation to be rude, antisocial, self- centered and selfish with delusional perceptions of entitlement. It seems to me that no- one says “No” anymore, leaving us to be lorded over by little tyrants. When children are rude, look at the parents and there you will find the root of the problem.

I frequently give etiquette classes to children, hired by parents who wish to outsource this kind of training. Thinking that one hour’s worth of dining etiquette is going to turn the little heathen into an angel is not going to work if the parent does not continue the training at home, every day.

So I’m wondering what this means for society. What kind of world will be wrought by the next generation? I am afraid. All rules of etiquette, protocol and diplomacy stem from a common denominator – respect for others. I cringe at the thought of what the implications are for humanity from this pandemic. The problem is global. A world devoid of civility is going to be far more unpleasant and scarier than it already is.

Please, consider “Please”, “Thank you,” chewing with your mouth closed and giving up your seat on the train to someone who needs it more than you and other basic good manners. The future of our society depends on it.